


Say Cheese

by iloveitblue



Series: Prompts [377]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-06-10 13:25:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6958243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iloveitblue/pseuds/iloveitblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Phil gets an email every time Clint gets hurt</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say Cheese

**Author's Note:**

> “Okay you know the drill.” The nurse said, taking out a camera from her pocket. “Say cheese.”

Clint tried his best to make a peace sign even with his arms in a cast and grinned, “Gouda.” 

The nurse clicked her tongue in amusement and pressed a few buttons before pocketing the phone again and leaving the Avengers alone. 

“What was that?” Natasha asked as soon as the door shut again.

Clint shrugged, trying to take the straw of the glass of water in front of him into his mouth and failing miserably. He glared at the straw to try and will it to move towards his mouth. “I dunno. They started doing that a few months ago? I just assumed it was a new protocol for SHIELD. You know how weird SHIELD can get. Why?”

Steve took pity on Clint and took the glass in his hand and held it in front of Clint’s mouth, the straw sitting there perfectly. Clint beamed and tried to get the straw but, somehow, the straw still managed to roll off his lips. 

“They never did that when I got a broken rib last week.” Steve added.

“Yeah, but that’s probably because you don’t actually need medical attention,” Tony pointed out. “You could just sit still and after forty-five minutes, you’d be doing backflips through the hall.” 

Steve held the straw still long enough for Clint to finally get his lips around it. “I’m just saying.” Steve rolled his eyes at Tony.

“They never did that to me either.” Natasha frowned.

Clint moved his head a couple times before Steve got the message and moved the glass away from his face. “Aww, I could take your picture for you the next time you get hurt, Tasha” he offered.

“No thanks.” was Natasha’s immediate answer.

“If it’s protocol, it’s terribly enforced.” Bruce said, “I’m pretty sure it isn’t protocol though. Don’t SHIELD employees hate getting their pictures taken?”

“And most, if not all, frown in said images” Thor added, “It is moot to ask Clinton to say cheese, then.”

“Do you have the same nurse every time?” Natasha asked.

Clint shook his head. “Never had the same nurse twice but they all ask me to do it after whatever medical decides to do with me.”

“Something’s not right. I’ll be back so _all of you_  make sure you don’t mess this room up.” Natasha said, giving every man in the room a pointed glare.

—

Natasha followed the nurse as stealthily as she could which meant that not even Fury could feel her presence. 

Speak of the devil though, it seemed that the nurse carrying the camera was headed to Fury after all. Figures. Anything weird/fishy going on in their lives could be traced back to Fury.

“-get it?”

“Yes sir.” The nurse answered, placing the camera on his desk.

Fury took the camera and inserted the memory stick into his computer. There were at least twenty videos of Clint in there - in different levels of post-medical hurt. Fury pressed play on the latest one and watched the five second video. He shook his head in mild amusement. 

“One of these days he’s going to run out of cheeses.” He stated, then to the nurse, “dismissed.”

Natasha watched as Fury attached the latest video file in an e-mail and sent it to - surprise, surprise - PJCoulson@SHIELD.gov. Natasha frowned. That email should have been trashed, or at the very least, it should have been retired. What the hell was Fury doing sending it an email?

Natasha was about to crawl out of the vents, when she heard a ping. She squinted, trying to read the words on the screen once more.

> _From: PJCoulson@SHIELD.gov_
> 
> _To: NFury@SHIELD.gov_
> 
> _Subject: Re: He’s fine._
> 
> _—_
> 
> _Thanks. I’ll buy you a drink the next time I’m stateside._
> 
> _Signed,_
> 
> _Cheese_

—

“Is there anything you want to tell us?” Natasha pushed Nick into Clint’s room, surprising everyone inside. 

“There are a lot of things I want to tell all of you, starting with how Stark is a pain in the neck.” Fury quipped.

“I love you too, darling.” Tony rolled his eyes.

“I saw your e-mail.” Natasha insisted. “I could tell them myself, spare you the drama, but I’d rather they all hear it from you. I’m not feeling particularly nice at the moment.”

Fury hummed, challenging Natasha’s patience.

“Talk,” Natasha threatened. “Or I’ll give Tony the access codes to every single one of your servers, then let Thor destroy your hangar. I’m sure you can figure out what Steve, Bruce and I can do when left with a Helicarrier.” She told him. “Talk, or I let the boys roam freely on your precious base.”

Fury tried to stare her down but it wasn’t really working so he sighed instead.

“Phil Coulson is alive.” He let his words hang in the air a moment before he whipped his phone out and tapped a few things. “I’ve got a Quinjet waiting for all of you outside with his location but don’t tell him I told you.” Fury faced all of them again, “As terrifying as the Black Widow is, nothing compares to an angry Phil Coulson.” He said before leaving them all to let what just happened sink in.

**Author's Note:**

> [Here on tumblr](http://promptmephlint.tumblr.com/post/144860814841/i-knew-adulting-was-difficult-but-i-actually)


End file.
